It is good to be alone.
She didn’t know this. Nor did she that she would. Well, she didn’t care. With tears in your eyes, you wouldn’t too. Her life had met its cross roads.
It was a wonderful morning. Aroma of wet mud in the air, strong. She began walking with tears in her eyes, thoughts in her mind. When her eyes looked up, the black cloud was gathering above. When her eyes looked down, the water droplets were competing with her footsteps. So, looked straight, people running, struggling to get somewhere. She ran, but eventually gave up.
With the rain winning, it was no difference to her. With ending up in a losing end as a habit, she continued. With thoughts running in her who was eating her heart out, she moved on. Taxis passed by, she continued walking. With a feeling of loneliness, she wanted to be alone. So, she continued.
She walked slowly now, knowing now it doesn’t make a difference and reached out for her earphones but found her tissue. Continuing with wiping her face, she struggled to put her earphones. She continued, her bags were wet, her clothes were wet, she didn’t bother as she listened to her songs.
After walking for hours, not knowing where she was going now, she continued. Her destination was far behind, but as she reached there, she felt that wasn’t where she belonged, so she continued.
She looked at her watch, it was 11 am. A cruel thought came in a mind, she felt broken, so she thought that was the only way out.
After reaching a crossroad, she saw a car hitting a woman. That was the first accident she had witnessed. In utter shock, knowing what she was thinking herself, she took one earphones out, people were shouting, running and screaming. She froze. She was just standing there, looking and thinking and comparing the cross roads accident with what just had happened with her life. She took courage, walked near the scene. She heard ambulance siren faintly initially, then loudly.
’That was quick’ she thought, not realizing it was more than thirty – minutes she stood froze. While everyone were taking the woman into the ambulance, she went close, initially to help but then to get a similar sorrow feel on how life had been unfair for both of them.
‘The woman won’t make it’, she heard people saying.
The ambulance went, the sirens loud then faint. She turned back, and saw an envelope lying on the floor. It might have been hers, she thought. She opened the envelope, it was from a hospital. She thought she shouldn’t open it, but then it wouldn’t make a difference. She opened it, as a MBBS student, she could understand what was written.
Her tears dropped. This time, with a shock. Her hands trembled. Her heart was beating as if it would burst.
‘The woman was pregnant.’
The rained stopped.
In between crowded streets, people started walking again, people in motorbikes started riding again. In a matter of minutes, it was like nothing happened.
She stood still for minutes, but then she started walking back.
While walking back, she realized there was no thought. She was in a middle of the road, yet she felt like she was in the mountains all alone, and with no thoughts. In a matter of moments, her tears, her problems seemed so minute, that she felt stupid to have cried for it.
Faraway, the church bells rang, it was 12 am. she looked up. Suddenly, remember about her life, her parents, and her brother. Didn’t believe an hour early, she thought of killing herself.
She smiled, walking on, thinking, she was alone, but might never feel lonely. She told herself,
“Hours before home!!”